A lot of things have been happening recently that have made me evaluate where I’m at in my life. In about one month I will be graduating from college. Holy crap. That scares the living bejeezus out of me and makes me so damn excited for what’s about to come.

I feel like I’m so ready for this and can’t even imagine how I could have possibly done it last semester; I’ve learned so much in just a few short months– and not just in school, but also in the crazy mess of events that I call my life. And even with all that, I feel like I’m not ready. It’s a really strange feeling, but I think it’s exactly where I need to be. Don’t ask me how I know, I just do.

I used to call myself an art director and an advertiser. I feel like with every passing week (hell, every passing day) I actually get closer and closer to this “title.” But it’s not about being able to put it on a business card and having it feel okay doing so.

It’s about a state of mind that gets nurtured with every thing I let inside my brain through these wide eyes. It’s about a way of thinking that is so different now than it was even two days ago. It’s about getting to it faster. It’s about seeing it in my head and getting it to paper (or vinyl or cotton or canvas or pixel) easier and even better than how I originally imagined. It’s not about selling a product, it’s about getting into the atoms of the damn thing and being able to talk to people in interesting ways. It’s about figuring out with every passing second that this is what I was put on this green earth to do.

Wow.

Two years ago, my Intro to Creativity professor, Dr. Deborah Morrison, told me “it’s not about what it’s about.” Today, I feel like I totally understand that statement; and that, my friends, is why I feel like I’m ready.

PS: The new Decemberists’ album is such an awesome listen.